she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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