new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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