Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
