so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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