Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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