Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
