is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You're like the curious george of whores
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
