Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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