I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
