There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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