would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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