i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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