I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
