He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
