Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
