I didn't shave. On purpose
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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