I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
