it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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