No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
