just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
