And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The adults are the big ones right?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
