My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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