Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
