mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
