she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hippo gnu deer
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He called his prostate his "boner button".
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
