I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Do vagina's smell?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm too high and old for this...
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