Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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