If i come over, it means nothing
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
