But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
