I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
