If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
