i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
