Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
