my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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