hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
