I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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