I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
