I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
