Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
