Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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