Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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