it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
