don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
