My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You dont lie about slip and slides
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
