Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
