reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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