We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
