Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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