Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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