Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
