It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
