All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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