The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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