his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
