i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
