Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
