i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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