My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
nutella sex= disaster
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When did angry sex become our thing?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
