Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
