Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just threw up on my dentist
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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