When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
