Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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