What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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