I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
