I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
soo... how was my night?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
