We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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